Yesterday at church I taught the 16-17 yr. old girls in my ward about Zion. A place where people are of one mind and one purpose. This lesson was particularly fitting for me because it was right after my post about comparing myself to others and feeling discouraged on Instagram. We read a talk together called Sisterhood: Oh, How We Need Each Other and this particular excerpt stood out to me.
To be sisters implies that there is an unbreakable bond between us. Sisters take care of each other, watch out for each other, comfort each other, and are there for each other through thick and thin. The Lord has said, “I say unto you, be one; and if ye are not one ye are not mine.”2
The adversary would have us be critical or judgmental of one another. He wants us to concentrate on our differences and compare ourselves to one another. You may love to exercise vigorously for an hour each day because it makes you feel so good, while I consider it to be a major athletic event if I walk up one flight of stairs instead of taking the elevator. We can still be friends, can’t we?
We as women can be particularly hard on ourselves. When we compare ourselves to one another, we will always feel inadequate or resentful of others. Sister Patricia T. Holland once said, “The point is, we simply cannot call ourselves Christian and continue to judge one another—or ourselves—so harshly.”3 She goes on to say that there is nothing that is worth us losing our compassion and sisterhood over. We just need to relax and rejoice in our divine differences. We need to realize that we all desire to serve in the kingdom, using our unique talents and gifts in our own ways. Then we can enjoy our sisterhood and our associations and begin to serve.
The fact of the matter is, we really and truly need each other. Women naturally seek friendship, support, and companionship. We have so much to learn from one another, and we often let self-imposed barriers keep us from enjoying associations which could be among the greatest blessings in our lives. For example, we women who are a little older need what you Primary-age girls have to offer. We can learn much from you about Christlike service and love.
We also talked about the spiritual gifts that we all have. Some have many, some a few, but they all come from God. And the purpose of these gifts to to benefit ALL MEN AND WOMEN as a whole. I think if we changed our mindset from thinking life is a competition and there is only a select few winners, to realizing that there is room for success for every single person and whatever talents that the other person has, it’s purpose is to bless other people, we wouldn’t be so tempted to compare ourselves to others! Life is not a race, and there is a medal at the end for every single person. There is room for everyone. And God gives us talents and gifts so that we could bless the lives of other people. Every single talent a person has, benefits the human race as a whole. It doesn’t just benefit that single person with the talent. It benefits me and you. We are all in this together. We are all in one team. And we all want the same in life; to be loved, accepted and heard. We have way more commonalities with other people than our differences. So instead of comparing and feeling envious and jealous, we should celebrate their talents because that talent makes everyone better and stronger as a whole.
I am usually very good at helping others succeed and sharing all my knowledge and being truly happy for their success. I truly believe there is room for success for every single person. I had to realize though that not every single person can be successful in every single aspect of their life, and I learned that maybe Instagram wasn’t my strength and I have to focus on other places where it shows my strengths more fully.
What do you think about this? Do you sometimes find yourself comparing to others? What helps you in these situations when you find yourself comparing?
I absolutely LOVE that excerpt! So good! I compare myself to others often. Mostly when I feel like I’m not in the place I want to be financially. turns out others are comparing themselves to where I am financially for some reason! hahaha. I think being open and honest about our strengths and our insecurities is important. It’s important to acknowledge that we are good and kind and smart and capable and have a great sense of humor. This is necessary for having a positive self-worth. We first have to recognize ourselves as worthy. It’s also great to be humble and self-reflective and see where we have room to grow and to take strides to grow every day.